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The Miracles

Once Chunk Nariz and His disciples were attacked by 50 raiders at a very bad moment when they ran out of ammo and only had one grenade left. "Do not fear", said Chunk Nariz to His people and threw the grenade. The grenade misfired, but all 50 raiders died on the spot.

When Chunk Nariz was staying in Toowoomba He saw a man who was setting things on fire with a magnifying glass. A number of onlookers gathered around him. "Wait and see" said Chunk, and when the sun set He did the same trick, but without the sun.

When Chunk Nariz saw that the world was imperfect, He decided to start anew and killed milliions of men, animals and plants. Only the species he decided to keep alive have survived.

A huge venomous snake was living in the desert. It was so huge and venomous that everybody was afraid of it. The snake grew so full of itself that one day it decided to show everyone how powerful it was and bit Chunk Nariz who was traveling in the desert. Nothing happened to Chunk Nariz. He walked away without saying a word, but the snake fell ill and died in great pain several days later.

Once Chunk Nariz met a scholar who was claiming that nobody can count to infinity and nobody can divide by zero. "Wait and see", said Chunk Nariz and counted to infinity and divided by zero. The amazed scholar asked to repeat it and Chunk Nariz counted to infinity for a second time.

When Chunk Nariz and His disciples were staying in an abandoned house in the desert, one of the disciples came to Him complaining about not having any light at night and not being able to write down Chunk's words. Chunk replied: "If you cannot turn on the light you should turn off the darkness" and made the darkness disappear.

Once Chunk and His disciples ran out of food while traveling in the desert. They caught some insects and every person received his share. A group of people from a prosperous settlement refused to eat insects. "These are not insects", said Chunk Nariz, "This is beef". "We don't understand, teacher", they replied, "How can it be beef if these are clearly insects". "This is beef", repeated Chunk Nariz. The ashamed disciples had no choice but to taste the insects, and they saw that truly weren't these insects, but beef of the finest quality.

Once a man asked Chunk Nariz what time it was. "It's half past three" said Chunk Nariz. Another man who was passing nearby heard their conversation and exclaimed: "It's not true! I have a very precise watch and it shows that it's only one o'clock". "It's half past three", repeated Chunk. A big crowd gathereed around Chunk Nariz. They were all showing Him their watches and all their watches were showing one o'clock, but it wasn't one o'clock. It was half past three.

Once there was a big fire in Toowoomba. Everybody was trying to extinguish it using their last reserves of water, but the fire was only growing bigger. Then Chunk Nariz took a bucket of fuel and threw it right into the fire, and the fuel extinguished the fire.

Once a man who was very ill saw Chunk Nariz and exclaimed: "Heal me, oh mighty Chunk!" "Your illness is a bad one", Chunk replied. "The only way I could cure you is giving you my tears". "Give me your tears", begged the man. "I cannot", said Chunk Nariz, "I have never cried and I never will".

When a follower of Man of Zinc saw Chunk Nariz in a crowded place he exclaimed very loudly trying to embarass Chunk in front of many people: "Our Lord and Savior can walk on the water. Can you do such thing, Chunk Nariz?". "Wait and see", replied Chunk Nariz and as there was no water anywhere around, he swam through dry land.

Very long time ago Chunk Nariz and Man of Zinc met each other. Man of Zinc was arrogant enough to dare Chunk Nariz to fight him and they fought. They were fighting during many days and destroyed half the world. When Chunk Nariz finally won, He obliged Man of Zinc to wear his underpants on the outside of his pants. Man of Zinc, ashamed and humiliated, left the Earth and has never been seen again among people.

Once Chunk Nariz was doing pushups outside the abandoned house. One of his disciples was sitting nearby and watching him. After many thousands of pushups the disciple asked: "How can you do so many pushups, teacher?" Chunk Nariz replied: "It's easy. All you need to do is to stop lifting your body and to start pushing the Earth down"

Chunk Nariz does not sleep. He waits for the right moment to come back.

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